Ten Important Marriage Tips for Men

.
Follow this advice, and you will see a remarkable change in the relationship you have with your wife.

1. Never say a negative thing about your wife to your mistress.

2. Allow your wife to get regular manicures. She needs strong healthy nails to open beer cans.

3. For her Anniversary gift, monogram your wife’s initials on the broom handle, vacuum, washer, dryer and stove.

4. If your wife gets out of line, holler, “I divorce thee, I divorce thee, …Don’t make me say it again!”

5. On days when your wife finishes all her assigned chores and cooks a palatable supper; tell her, “Thank you.” and give her a pat on the back.

6. On nights when you are out late with the boys, be thoughtful enough to call your wife at 2 a.m. to let her know you are alright.

7. Take your kids on a two week trip to Hawaii. This will free up your wife to finish the spring cleaning.

8. Allow your wife to secure a part-time job, so she can pay for cosmetic surgeries as she ages.

9. Buy your wife a flowery, pink, cotton-lined rubber glove which she can use to put the toilet seat down.

10. Every day, tell your wife she is beautiful on the inside.
.