Top Ten Excuses for my Lack of Blog Updates

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10. I am painting my parents' house. Each day, after work, I travel over a third of a mile to their home. I scrape and sand various ugly patches while inhaling lead-laden dust. After half an hour of grueling work, my mother invariably calls out, "Rickeeeee! You need to take a break." I reluctantly oblige and spend the next two hours eating a home cooked meal, watching Days of Our Lives recordings, and talking about how nice the house is going to appear when I am finished. I sure hope my parents like the psychedelic, out of the lines kind of look to their home.

9. My computer monitor broke. Two months ago, I started suspecting something was wrong when a yellow vertical line appeared in the center of my monitor. For a while, I was able to make the line disappear by rapping the top of the screen with my knuckle. My monitor responded to my love taps by periodically flashing between modes of bright white light and darkness. Soon, my monitor took on a life of its own and would flash whiteness around the room in the middle of the night, even when the computer was turned off. Three days ago, my monitor shut down for good. Fortunately, I was able to save twenty bucks by purchasing another new, off brand monitor made by a company which will be bankrupt in six weeks.

8. I am bipolar. If I posted on a regular basis, no one would believe my whole "I am not normal" shtick.

7. There is nothing to blog about. The economy is moving along just fine. Feelings of bipartisanship and cooperation are permeating Washington D.C. The world is at peace, and Hollywood celebrities are behaving themselves.

6 through 2. Reserved for future whiny excuses.

1. Today, I have a day off from the Postal Service. I've decided to get an early start on painting my parents' house. Besides, my mother mentioned something about breakfast sausage.
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