Saturday, April 18, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Hillary Clinton is Joan of Arc Reincarnate
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1. Both Hillary and Joan have undying love for the French.
2. Both have presented their physical appearance in such a way as to not inflame the passions of men.
3. Joan had mystical visions. Hillary has Progressive visions.
4. Joan has been admired throughout the world. Hillary has travelled throughout the world.
5. Joan received guidance from God. Hillary receives guidance from Barack Obama.
6. Joan, a young woman, enabled the French army in their conquests of the English. Hillary enabled Bill in his conquests of young women.
7. Hillary's stake in cattle futures increased by a hundredfold. Joan's body temperature increased by a hundredfold at the stake.
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1. Both Hillary and Joan have undying love for the French.
2. Both have presented their physical appearance in such a way as to not inflame the passions of men.
3. Joan had mystical visions. Hillary has Progressive visions.
4. Joan has been admired throughout the world. Hillary has travelled throughout the world.
5. Joan received guidance from God. Hillary receives guidance from Barack Obama.
6. Joan, a young woman, enabled the French army in their conquests of the English. Hillary enabled Bill in his conquests of young women.
7. Hillary's stake in cattle futures increased by a hundredfold. Joan's body temperature increased by a hundredfold at the stake.
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Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Top Ten Reasons I Gave up Golf
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10. I could swear my ball was hiding from me on purpose.
9. My buddies started calling me the Duke of Hazards.
8. Greens fees got so expensive, I could no longer afford the post-humiliation beers.
7. No matter how much I studied the rule book, I kept finding myself in situations where the rules didn't apply.
6. My ball mark repair tool was a garden spade.
5. My birdies were becoming an endangered species.
4. My wedge shots were more like wedgies.
3. A sand save meant physically picking up the ball and taking it to a safe place.
2. My handicap got so high I started calling it a developmental disability.
1. My wife said golf was taking up too much time and money, so I started gambling on the Internet instead.
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10. I could swear my ball was hiding from me on purpose.
9. My buddies started calling me the Duke of Hazards.
8. Greens fees got so expensive, I could no longer afford the post-humiliation beers.
7. No matter how much I studied the rule book, I kept finding myself in situations where the rules didn't apply.
6. My ball mark repair tool was a garden spade.
5. My birdies were becoming an endangered species.
4. My wedge shots were more like wedgies.
3. A sand save meant physically picking up the ball and taking it to a safe place.
2. My handicap got so high I started calling it a developmental disability.
1. My wife said golf was taking up too much time and money, so I started gambling on the Internet instead.
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